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Thursday, August 21, 2014

In This Edition Quick Links

Advertise in the WANZeGRAM!

Click here for details!

Be sure to review

Orange County
VOTER’S GUIDE

Courtesy of

Penny Creech & Jeff Horn
 
in MY TWO CENTS section of today’s
 WANZeGRAM

Monday Movie Review
There was no on air MONDAY MOVIE REVIEW WITH WANZIE & DOUG This past Monday.
Rebecca Fisher & Michael Moritz Bring New York Show To Orlando:

From New York’s
Metropolitan Room

To Orlando’s
The Abbey

Our home town gal pal
Rebecca Fisher
is back

Returning to Orlando between touring shows with an added touch of New York sass and sophistication, along with Broadway musician, musical director & accompanist,

Michael Moritz

 

These two gifted performers are treating Orlando to a
one-night-only performance of the cabaret act they premiered last year at Manhattan’s famed Metropolitan Room

Rebecca Fisher performs with a New York edge, and lot’s of new material the Orlando audience has not yet had the pleasure of hearing this gifted singer/story teller interpret as only she can.

You Won’t Want To Miss It!

Reserve your ticket now:

Click Here for Tickets

Plan to enjoy the entire Summer/Fall

Monday Night Cabaret Series

 at The Abbey:

Creepy Letters to Celebrities from Crepe

We at the WANZeGRAM are pleased to introduce another rotating column, which will appear periodically in your WANZeGRAM along with that of Mr. Steve of Bel Air, whose column will once again grace this space in next week’s edition of your Gram.

By way of introduction - Crepe LaBouche is a fictitious gender bender character from the mind of PH Bartender and writer, Bubble Butt Bobbie Elizabeth Marie Taylor. Crepe has a habit of imagining that celebrities with whom she is fascinated might care to hear in graphic detail how she imagines their relationships might be, or might have been, had they actually met. Other times she simply wishes to share her thoughts on their current antics or affairs. She routinely writes slightly creepy letters to these celebs, and we will now routinely share said letters with you, our WANZeGRAM subscribers.

We hope you will enjoy this new rotating feature:

Dear Robin Williams,

Normally when I sit down and prepare to write one of my letters, I choose a sexy picture of the individual with whom I am about to correspond, which will moisten me in inspiration. This time I chose differently. In light of everything that has happened, Mr. Williams, your Google search is flooded with very serious pictures of you looking solemn. I had seen a picture once, and you had talked about it in your stand up. I went with that picture of pure joy spread across your face, because to me, that is why you are sexy.

Picture if you will a young Crepe LaBouche going through puberty, and what had been a naturally smooth body now starts growing hair in odd places, with interesting textures normally reserved for Brillo Pads and sandpaper. Except for one thing. My arms. They got hairy and animal-like, but stayed soft. My knuckles sprouted their own toupee. I saw your stand up, “Live on Broadway,” and you talked about your hairy arms and gorillas. While I was hoping a 500 pound gorilla would never have me by the nipples, I would lovingly stroke my new arm hair and think I had something in common with you.

This was just a brief part of our continuing love affair. An affair that started in my belly, and rumbled up my body, exploding out my mouth in a noise that has frightened my family, friends, and random strangers enjoying a quiet meal. It began with Aladdin, and I didn’t know you weren’t a blue genie, but I loved you. I didn’t have a friend like you, but I wanted one. I understand why Aladdin released you...now; but I feel under the circumstances I probably wouldn’t have. I’ve grown since then. I feel like that started my weird, strangely erotic attraction towards blue men. Except the Blue Man Group. That's just wrong.

My parents got divorced. Although my father didn’t dress up in an old lady suit and fling fruit at the pint sized Pierce Brosnan wooing my mother, I used to stare at my father and imagine what he would look like dressed as a lady. I’ve seen pictures. I think I make a better lady. He definitely would’ve been a terrible housekeeper. The only man who dressed up for me looked like Liberace's stunt double. I know that you were Presbyterian (Catholic-lite), so you didn't get the fire and brimstone version of heaven and hell that I got. I watched “What Dreams May Come,” and decided that your idea was way better. Weird paint things and fantastic imaginings. Your dedication. Your love. I wanted that. I found your devotion sexy, and something to which to aspire.

When I consider a perfect date with you, I imagine it would start with a picnic. We would whisper jokes into each other’s ears, and you would giggle while I scared away all of the wild animals as the sound of my laughter blasted out of my mouth with the force of a rock concert speaker…the sound that comes out beyond my control when hearing all of your punch lines. Bambi's mother wouldn’t have been safe if she wandered through the fields we inhabited with our love. You would stare in my open mouth as your hearing slowly faded to silence, and you would smile knowing that we were in love. My fingers would dance their way through the shag carpet you keep on your chest, and would become entangled. I’d look into your eyes and tell you that Chinese finger traps were always my favorite childhood toys. You would launch into a 10-minute monologue about Chinese finger traps. I would lovingly look into your eyes, and say I had tried to masturbate to you, and had never been successful. Today, though, I would try because you were here with me. Today I would do anything you want because you gave me my life’s purpose; the desire to make people laugh as you did. Then, I would climb on top of you, and you would be scared because I wasn’t a real girl. The fear in your eyes would make me giggle in pure joy, because that's all you ever brought me.

Rest in peace and know now that every memory of you is magical and filled with laughter.

Crepe LaBouche

Picture(s) Of The Week

Stab from the past:
Denise Dudley!

For those of you who don’t know who she is, you can stop reading now and move on to the next section of your Gram. For those of you who have ever had the pleasure of meeting or knowing Denise Dudley but have lost track of her, rest assured she is as lively and loving as ever, and looking absolutely amazing for a woman who is now 60 years of age. Denise just popped up at the recent Paul Wegman tribute at The Venue. Six years ago Denise retired from a career with Walt Disney World that began prior to opening day and spanned nearly four decades, but she continues to work as a clerk of the court. She seemed very happy, and looked virtually the same as when I last saw her; probably fifteen years ago. Monday was a special night in so many ways. Lookin’ good, Denise! Thanks for once again making everyone around you (including our old roommate Joel Strack, who was also there) smile with a flood of fond memories.

On Sale In Our Box Office

MISS GAY ORLANDO 2014
NOW ON SALE

Select Your Exact Seat Before You Go!

Select – A- Seat Now

Coming in September

A One-Man Multimedia Safari Into The Gay Community! – Loud, irreverent, and hilarious, Logan Donahoo lovingly guides you through this off-kilter world of slang, history, drag queens, bears and MORE! Like stealing hot-pink fire from Mt. Olympus, you too can now learn the answers to all those questions about the queer culture that you were too afraid to ask. – DO NOT MISS IT!

Select – A- Seat Now

Also On Sale:
Jeff Jones’ LITTLE MISS PARLIAMENT HOUSE

Coming in October

Advertisements
Click the posters below for a larger version
 
Friday, August 22 Friday, August 29 Saturday, August 30 Sunday, August 31
       
 
Saturday, Sept. 6 Saturday,Sept. 13 Monday, Sept. 15  
Weekly Events Until They Are Not:
Click the posters below for a larger version
 
Every Sunday Every Monday Every Tuesday Every Wednesday
       
Every Wednesday Every Thursday Monday Happy Hour
     
Where The Trucks Are This Week

For complete Bazaar description and to see what Orlando cheerleader Mark Baratelli thinks is cool about “The City Beautiful,” you can always visit www.TheDailyCity.com

We've Got Mail

Hello,

First I wanna say how much I love you guys! I first heard you and Doug on the Phillips Phile (side note: although I personally identify with half of the letters in LGBT, I don't really get out to too many LGBT events), and you guys are super funny, and I love hearing you guys on the radio. You should have your own show!

Anyway, my name is Britney, and I hope that you don't mind me sending this email, but I'm trying to raise money for gender reassignment surgery, and I was wondering if you could share the link to my GoFundMe. http://www.GoFundme.com/Britney  I'm so close to being able to finally have the surgery, but since I work near minimum wage, it’s going to be hard, nearly impossible, for me to save up the $2,500 co-pay on my own.

I was hoping you might share the GoFundMe link anyway you can in hopes there might be some people out there who may care to help me achieve my dream of becoming who I really am.

Thank you so much,

Britney

PLEASE WRITE!
Email your submission to wanziemichael@gmail.com

Short Takes

“Thank you, Carol, for 13 years of camping, guitar strumming, hiking, rafting, old movies, and fabulous cooking. And for all your support during my darkest times. You saved me. Your are my hero (and the hero of every lucky kid you’ve ever taught in school). I love you!”
- Gwen

My Two Cents

2014 Florida Primary Voter’s Guide

Researched and Compiled by
Penny Creech & Jeff Horn

In our attempt at making an informed decision, we have gone to most candidates’ websites, researched the Orlando Sentinel and the Orlando Weekly, and attended numerous events where the candidates appeared.  Most of the organizations we have depended on in the past [Florida Tax Watch, Rainbow Democrats (Florida GLBT Democratic Caucus), Log Cabin Republicans, NAACP, HRC, Emily’s List, Equality Florida, and Project Vote Smart] to help in the selection process either are offering no endorsements in this election, or very limited.   Michael Slaymaker’s list was one of the valuable resources we consulted.

There are races not included in this guide, and in most cases that implies we could not select with confidence one candidate over another in that particular race. 

Every registered voter has received a Sample Ballot in the mail, and we recommend selecting your candidates first, highlighting them on your sample ballot, and taking that with you to the polls as your guide – plus this can help assure you don’t mistakenly overlook a candidate and fail to vote for someone you intended to.    

Voting is a civic duty not to be taken lightly.  We are fortunate to live in a democratic society in which we have an equal voice in selecting our leaders and on Tuesday, August 26 we will again have the opportunity to make our voices heard.

See you at the polls!

Penny Creech & Jeff Horn

U.S. House (Dist. 9):                    Alan Grayson

Governor:                                    Charlie Crist

Attorney General:              George Sheldon

State Senate (Dist.12):      Geraldine F. Thompson

Circuit Judge (9/10):                    Kim Shepard

Circuit Judge (9/18):                  Elaine Barbour

Circuit Judge (9/30):                    Orley Burey

Circuit Judge (9/32):          Diana Tennis

Orange County Judge,

Group 10:                                   Blaine McChesney

Orange County Judge,
Group 15:                         Brian Duckworth

Orange County School Board Member

(Dist.1)                                       Joie Cadle

Orange County School Board Member

(Dist. 2)                                      Daryl Flynn 

Orange County Commission

(Dist. 2)                                      Alvin Moore 

Orange County Commission

(Dist. 6)                                      Virginia Whittington

Orange County Special Referendum
A Proposal To Guarantee Earned Sick Time for Employees of Businesses in Orange County:

VOTE YES   

Orange County Special Referendum:  One-Half Cent Sales Surtax for School Construction, Renovation, Technology, Retrofitting, and Land Acquisition 

VOTE FOR THE ONE-HALF CENT TAX 

Penny Creech has practiced law as a litigation attorney in Central Florida since 1997.  Her legal experience includes six years as criminal defense attorney in Orlando County, and three years as the Orlando Bureau Chief for the Florida Attorney General's Medicaid Fraud Control Unit.  Since 2005 she has been employed as a civil trial attorney in the area of insurance defense. Penny has been a longtime supporter of, and contributor to, all good causes as they relate to human rights for all people, LGBT issues, and the welfare of the underserved, homeless, and at risk youth in Orlando. She is also a regular barfly and winning contestant at Trivia Tuesdays at the Parliament House and a loyal WANZeGRAM subscriber.

Jeff Horn is a community activist and former candidate for Orlando City Council. Jeff was a founding board member and facilitator/mentor of The Delta Youth Alliance – the first program in Orlando dedicated to caring for disenfranchised LGBT youth - and was an active participant and cheerleader of The Center during it’s formative years. Through his creation and leadership of The Orange Blossom Tennis Association, Jeff has spearheaded OBTA-sponsored charitable events resulting in well over a hundred thousand dollars raised for the care and shelter of Orlando’s homeless persons affected by HIV disease, and after school programs for the at risk youth in the Parramore neighborhood – The Genesis Community Program – which he cofounded with then Orlando City Commissioner Daisy Lynum. Jeff is a veteran volunteer of over 40 political campaigns.

THE FAR RIGHT MANIFESTO
As imagined by
Mike Dorman

The Far Rightist manifesto goes something like this:

"It's not sufficient simply for me to live by my standards, but it's essential for the general welfare that you do, too. Your spirituality, no matter how it guides your moral behavior, is inferior to mine because it's different. There is no belief system that you may have, if it isn't like mine, that we should allow in public venues, but you should be forced to observe, listen to, and have your children influenced by mine."

"No behavior of which I don't approve, for whatever reason, should be allowed to others, even if they don't agree with me. I get to decide which science is good, and which is bad. I get to force my superstitions and biases on you, and I get to re-inflict my emotional scars upon you. Because I believe that some book or scroll has some supernatural portent for my life, you must share in the illusion."

"And over the years, based on the above belief set, I and those like me have burned, maimed, killed, and disfigured at least a billion persons world wide for the sin of disagreeing with me. Then we called it jihad or crusade, later we called it "the final solution," and even later "ethnic cleansing."  Today, in the form of the Limbaughs, Fred Phelps', Michelle Bachmanns, we complain that we're the ones harmed by restrictions on our actions. God has told us that Liberals, Blacks, Gays, and people who value the analytical capability of that marvelous machine, the human mind, and its tools, science, technology, critical thinking, and freedom of the human spirit, are the enemy. "

How do they look in a mirror?

Mike Dorman is a retired from careers in both the U.S. Navy and the Orange County Public School System. Mike lives in The Villages where his ideologies are not typical of most who reside there.

 

GOT SOMETHING TO SAY?
By all means, share it with your subscriber friends right here in your WANZeGRAM. Submit your 350-words-or-less opinion piece, rant, rave, or observations to Email your submission to wanziemichael@gmail.com

Now Playing

Now Playing (End date to be determined by attendance)

In 3D - On Giant Screen – Digital Adventure Theater
Orlando Science Center
Also currently screening in various in-museum theaters: Galapagos, Unseen World 3D, Penguins 3D, Flight Of The Butterflies, Titans Of The Ice Age, Peabody & Sherman, Catching Fire, and Coral Reef Adventure.
All films included in regular museum admission prices:
Adults $19/Students & Seniors $17/3 to 11 - $13/2 & under FREE
Complete screening schedule:
http://www.osc.org

TODAY
Thursday, August 21
Watermark’s THIRD THURSDAY SOCIAL at
GUILDED HOME

Food by DEXTERS/Sponsored by STONEWALL
Raffle beneficiary – HOPE & HELP
Admission and first drink is FREE!
See full details on poster in advertising section of this Gram

Saturday, August 23
PHILIPS PHILE TEXAS HOLD ’EM TOURNAMENT
To Benefit The Mustard Seed


Orlando Science Center/Doors 6 PM/Casino Play 7 PM
Poker Seats SOLD OUT/Casino tickets available for purchase at the door

Through August 23
CRIMES OF THE HEART

Theatre Downtown
$22/$18 Seniors & Students
407.841.0083

Through August 23
BACKWARDS IN HEELS

Winter Park Playhouse
$38/$35 Senior/$20 Industry & Students/$10 Student Rush

Through August 24
THE 25TH ANNUAL PUTNAM COUNTY SPELLING BEE

UCF School of Performing Arts Theater
$20 Adult/$18 Senior/$10 Student
407.823.1500
www.theatre.ucf.edu

Through September 7

Orlando Science Center
Adults $19/Students & Seniors $17/3 to 11 - $13/2 & under FREE
osc.org

THEATER – PLAY IN A DAY

MULTI-MEDIA PERFORMANCE/DANCEVarieTEASE MONSTER
This VarieTEASE will be a "Brand New Experiment in Storytelling” incorporating
a stop-motion movie by Pat Fatica, and the continuum story by Blue Star. This story will leave you confused, and possibly disturbed!! Expect the unexpected; nothing is normal here!

SEPTEMBER 5, 6*, 8, 12, 13, & 15

9 PM
*Except on September 6, when show time is 10 PM

THE VENUE
511 Virginia Drive
Orlando, FL   32803

TICKETS:

407.412.6895

 

AUDTIONS – COSTUMED CHARACTERS

Coming Attractions
 

In the section you will find opening dates for future attractions so you may plan ahead. Emboldened listings indicate events added as of this edition of your GRAM.

August 22 LOVE YOUR SHORTS FILM FESTIVAL Summer Rewind Wayne Densch Performing Arts Center
August 23 TORI AMOS Bob Carr PAC
  Annual OPEN HOUSE Orlando Shakes
August 27

Cabaret Series
ALAN LONG

Winter Park Playhouse
August 30 AN EVENING WITH DEEP PURPLE Hard Rock Live!
August 31 Annual PIG ROAST & Free Dinner Buffet Parliament House
Sept. 5

Disney On Ice
FROZEN (We always knew he was)

Amway Center
September 6 PLAY IN A DAY Orlando Shakes
September 8 Rebecca Fisher's Sin. Play. Live Cabaret at The Abbey
September 12 THEY’RE PLAYING OUR SONG Winter Park Playhouse
  Mood Swings With Kevin Kelly Cabaret at The Abbey
September 7

AN EVENING WITH MARK TWAIN

Wayne Densch Performing Arts Center
September 15 MISS GAY ORLANDO Footlight Theater
September 17 Cirque Du Soleil VAREKAI Amway Center
September 19 INTERNATIOANL FOOD & WINE FESTIVAL EPCOT
September 22 Jessica Hoehn's Debutante Ball: Better Late Than Never Cabaret at The Abbey
September 24 SWEENY TODD The Garden Theatre

September 26

THE WIZARD OF OZ Wayne Densch Performing Arts Center
September 29 Andrea Canny (untitled as of now) Cabaret at The Abbey
October 5 MARC ANTHONY Bob Carr PAC
October 7 SESAME STREET LIVE! MAKE A NEW FRIEND CFE Arena at UCF
October 8 PINK COLLAR COMEDY SHOW Orlando Improv Comedy Club
October 12 LITTLE MISS PARLIAMENT HOUSE Footlight Theatre
October 13 John Ryan & Eddie Cooper (untitled as of now) Cabaret at The Abbey
October 19 ELAINE BOOSLER Plaza Live Orlando
October 21 ENRIQUE INGLESIAS & PITBULL Amway Center
October 22 RINGO STARR and his All Star Band King Center
November 2 SUSAN BOYLE in Concert King Center
November 7 BEATNIK 2 The Venue
A Note from Wanzie

I should like to announce that I am declaring myself officially cured of vertigo!

I should like to thank Dr. of Chinese Medicine, Natalie Doliner once again; it was advice she gave me some time ago, that I finally heeded, and that got me over the last hurdle. The standard medical practitioners completely failed me, leaving me unable to work, and massively in debt, running up medical bills for all sorts of tests that were totally unnecessary.

Aside from providing me a huge measure of immediate relief, and allowing me to be capable of performing my Fringe show, through her therapy of myofacial release and acupuncture, Natalie had expressed her concern that my remaining issues might quite simply be due to the dosage of my high blood pressure medication. I decided to take myself off the high blood pressure medication just about a month ago. (Please note: Natalie did NOT suggest I do so without the knowledge and guidance of my primary physician, but I was so pissed at the thought that it could possibly be that simple – I did it by myself, anyway.)  Within 10 days I was markedly better. This past weekend, at about 3 ½ weeks off the medication, I was whisked away by friends to enjoy a day of thrill rides at Disney Parks.  In a single day I rode (among other attractions) Splash Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, 7 Dwarfs Mine Train, Tower of Terror, Primeval Whirl, and Rockin’ Roller Coaster, one right after the other, and I did NOT have an attack of vertigo.

Prior to coming off the high blood pressure medication, I would have a wave of vertigo just from riding an escalator! TRUTH.

I am no longer having debilitating attacks at all, and the only thing different is that I am not taking my blood pressure medication! How unfortunate that the doctors who prescribed the blood pressure medication couldn’t think to consider my vertigo might be a side effect of a dosage that was too high, of a medication they themselves prescribed. But they didn’t think about that. Instead, they sent me off for Cat Scans, and MRI’s, and all kinds of tests and blood panels – every one of which came back clear, and provided absolutely no clue as to what was causing my incapacitating bouts of acute vertigo.

I am happy to report that when I went for my colonoscopy, my blood pressure was the best it has been in years – “totally acceptable” blood pressure for my age, I was told – while not being on the blood pressure medication. I would assume this happy occasion is a result of my having slowly lost over 25 pounds since May and a change in eating habits that include a big reduction in my intake of sodium and caffeine; NO MORE DIET COKE!  That’s advice that was first given to me by my chiropractor, Dr. Channing Bolick, many years ago, but which I failed to heed. After Natalie suggested my blood pressure med might be the culprit regarding my vertigo, I remembered Channing had told me he believed I could resolve my blood pressure issues through those two simple diet changes alone, and that I would not need to go on blood pressure medication to begin with if I would just stop drinking soft drinks all day long, and stop over-salting my fries. So it took me several years to actually decide to heed his advice, but apparently he was right, and it really was that simple.

After my parents passed, and with my phychiatrist’s approval and guidance, I slowly weaned myself off of my anti-depressants. Since that medication gave me insomnia, coming off that med also meant I could stop taking the prescription sleep aid I was on. I haven’t tried to kill anyone or myself, so I guess that was successful. Since the first of this year, I have slowly weaned myself off of all (at one time I was taking 9) daily prescription drugs, the last being the high blood pressure medication, and I can honestly say I have not felt this good in about two years.  It was two years ago they first started me on blood pressure medication. It was two years ago I had my first debilitating attack of vertigo. If only I had listened to Channing Bolick way back when he first suggested I stop drinking Diet Coke, I think all of this could have been avoided. It’s amazing to me how simple the answers can be when it comes to what is happening to our own bodies. I get they are not trained to operate this way, but is it too much to ask that medical doctors think about simple solutions first, as well as consider the variables they themselves have initiated before sending someone on a downward spiral of cash-depleting tests, and costly mind-numbing, sick-making prescriptions drugs? 

Apparently so!

Thank you, Doctors Channing Bolick and Natalie Doliner for the sound advice, and for simple non-chemical solutions.

I’m WANZIE and That’s All I Wrote!

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email me

 

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