 "I do still love the song "Penises are like Snowflakes!" BATHHOUSE THE MUSICAL NEW NATIONAL TOUR COMPANY: Sat. 5/31 || Thu. 6/05 || Fri. 6/06 || Sat. 6/07 || Sun. 6/08
“...
the best splash of Broadway to visit the Fringe
stage ever. It’s the must see show of the year!” WINNER:
Overall Festival Patron’s Pick  Saturdays @ 7:30 PM
June 14th | June 21st | June 28th & July 12th | July 19th | July 26th Footlight Theater @ the Parliament House 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail, Orlando Tickets: $15.00
 impending
visit of
rising star LESLIE JORDAN, when he brings his own version of an amusement joy
ride to the Footlight Theater @ The Parliament House on Tuesday, July
8th at 8:00 PM. for one night only. But let’s be perfectly clear
on
one thing ... there’s won’t be any kiddie attractions at this ferris
wheel of fun. In fact, in all fairness, this show has to be
declared
off limits for those with less than 21 years of life experience under
their belts. Jordan’s new stage production MY TRIP DOWN THE
PINK
CARPET certainly has a magical journey tone to it’s title, but it’s
content is a far cry from any Disney-esque renderings. The diminutive dynamo and acclaimed Emmy award winning television star (Will & Grace), having conquered multitudes of performance mediums on the strength of his own unique character and convictions, is in the midst of a banner year of exciting, new career achievements. His sassy, one-of-a-kind Southern branded humor and innate storytelling abilities has brought Jordan legions of fans through his memorable performances on stage, television and film. Unapologetically and to a great extent, lovingly, Jordan gives his Southern heritage and how it provided the basis for his adult values, its rightful due. Tickets are now on sale, exclusively at the WANZIE.com Online Box Office! Don't miss out on this incredible evening of hilarity. 
For Central Florida subscribers and those about to visit us for Orlando’s GayDays vacation celebration, the world is about to turn more than a bit more gay beginning next week. Of course the first Saturday in June is Always Gay Day in the Magic Kingdom. That’s the 7th of June this year. Attendees are encouraged to “Wear Red and Be Seen”. Regular park admission policies and prices apply. It’s a hoot and a half and it’s a part of gay history. But GayDays is now so very much more.  For general GayDays information on the more tame and family friendly parties, information on The GayDays Expo, the Host Hotel & Pool Parties for the more vacation oriented attendees (rather the Host Hotel and Pool Parties for the more hard core late night partiers- as well as some interesting GayDays history and traditions, you’ll want to log onto Orlando’s own www.GayDayS.com Please
note that circuit party information and circuit party host hotel
information does not appear on GayDayS.com.
For information (and ticketing) for the more expensive dance mega-parties, which are specifically geared to the circuit party culture and musical interests – you’ll find everything you need to know by logging onto: The Parliament House website offers complete information (and ticketing) for the best-bang-for-your-buck GayDays Concerts and Parties happening during GayDays 2008, only at the Parliament House.  In addition to the concert artists listed below, each
party will feature the fabulous 10-piece horn-driven SOULFNKTION band,
performing live on the Pool Stage, Adult Film Stars, expanded outdoor
partying areas with enhanced lighting, access to six clubs including
Disco, Video Bar and Showroom with world famous Female Impersonation
Shows, Vendors, Food Court and on Saturday and Sunday nights – Beach
Side Foam Parties!At only $30 per party/concert, these GayDays events, typically antended by literally thousands of party animals from across the country and around the world, offer a great price-attractive alternatives to the Circuit events along with non -stop entertainment in several different PH environs, staffed by familiar faces in a friendly atmosphere of celebratory excitement. For complete information, including World Famous Sunday T-Dance with Allboy Model Search please log onto -Gay Days Friday – June 6 – EXPOSE` Don’t forget the Official Theatrical Show of GayDays 2008 – BATHHOUSE: THE MUSICAL performing at the P-House on GayDays Thursday, June 5 through GayDays Sunday, June 8th. All shows are at 7:30 PM. For tickets, please log onto - For more events specifically geared to women, you’ll want to log onto - For information and ticketing for MARIO CANTONE’s GayDays appearance on June 7th, and other great concert events at Hard Rock Live! Orlando, please log onto - For attraction admission prices, hours of operation, menus, and up-to-minute attraction news including in-depth coverage and photos of everything that’s new at all Orlando area theme parks since your last visit, you’ll want to log onto - LAUGH YOUR WAY INTO GAYDAYS -– MO’ LAUGHS COMEDY NIGHT: The next is scheduled for Monday June 2nd at 9pm at Revolution Orlando. Hosted by our good friend and comic Jeff Jones. As always, if you’d like to perform you can simply show up, sign up, and stand up. 
I’m not being
overly dramatic about this either. One does not have to have been
revived via CPR, or remember hovering over ones own body on an
operating table only to be zapped back into it by an electrical shock
to the heart as someone yells “clear” in order to have had a near death
experience. I had one, and I
remained fully conscious during it. My near death
experience had nothing to do with my struggling to achieve that one
life saving breath, or emerging from a coma.
But none of the above facts diminish the mind-f*ck of the situation. And really, I don’t believe that luck played any part in the episode, unless it was bad luck. Many people have told me that God wasn’t ready for me yet (and really will he or she ever be?) and have said things like “Thank God it wasn’t worse” or that obviously “God was looking after you”. It’s funny, because
I know these people mean well, but my immediate reaction to such
statements is always more along the lines of “If God wanted to look
after me, why didn’t he keep the bastard from running me off the road
in the first place?” If, as the big bad truck, traveling at an estimated 110 miles per hour, was about to ram into the back of my little Honda, but then suddenly evaporated just prior to impact – or – if the truck had been supernaturally levitated in the air and advanced over my car, touching down just ahead of me, thus avoiding the collision altogether, then I might be willing to concede that a God or ET was working on my behalf to protect my life and ensure my well being. One of the Bumper Stickers on the rear end of my now demolished vehicle read – “GOD, PLEASE PROTECT ME FROM YOUR FOLLOWERS”. Which begs the question: Did some sort of God actually protect me, or, is it more likely, as I believe, that one of God’s followers harmed my vehicle and my person and mental well-being by purposely speeding up and ramming my vehicle with the specific intent of causing me harm and teaching me a lesson because, as my bumper stickers may have indicated, my belief system did not mirror his or her own? There is no doubt in my mind that is what occurred last week, when the truck behind me, slowed down to put a distance between our vehicles, then used that span of space to accelerate to rocket speed and then, before I had time to react, impaled my car with his truck, hitting me square on, leaving no skid marks to indicate any attempt on his part to slow down, catapulting me down the highway like the hydraulic force that initiates the blast off of The Incredible Hulk [roller coaster] or Rock N’ Rollercoaster ... my car careening from side to side on the highway – this way then that – before I finally gained control over the torpedo-launched vehicle. I doubt that God saved me from anything. I think my bumper stickers incited in the driver of the truck the very type of rage and hate I intended the stickers might illuminate and yes, mock. I think that a true believer in God decided he (or she) would use their Chevy truck to teach this non-believing heathen a much-needed lesson. I believe, that just as it has been so throughout the course of history, that I was simply yet another victim of the hate and rage that so often seem to be part and participle of the Bible thumping believers in God. God did not intercede in the course of my accident. God was absent from it. And it was no “accident”. It was a purposeful attack. God did not cause the attack... ... but it is a belief in God, that, in the mind of the f’d up driver of the truck, granted the individual license to do harm to me because, as my bumper stickers indicated, I dared question the actions of those who do believe in God. “God, Please Protect Me From Your Followers” was admittedly the text of just one of many bumper stickers on my car, which indicated that the driver of my car was not on board with generally accepted religious dogma. And as a result, I have no doubt in my mind, that my car was struck in the name of God, by someone who believed they had the right to harm me because I believe differently then he or she. My life was spared, not by God, but because my father (the biological one, not the heavenly one, had instilled in me the life-saving driving instruction to NEVER slam on the brakes when the car, for what ever reasons, goes out of control. My Dad often talked of the importance of attempting to steer the car, whenever possible, onto a straight course, before applying the brakes. In the moment, I remembered and heeded that good advice. It was the result of applying that logic that kept my car from crashing into a guardrail, or flipping over in a ditch. It was quite simply my skillful handling of the situation that saved my life. The God-fearing perpetrator of this crime fled the scene, unwilling, or unable, to accept and/or face the consequences of his or her own actions, and in fleeing the scene of the accident, broke yet another law in the name of God. Typical. I am both grateful and happy to be alive. If there is in fact some universal force or higher power at work here that saved my life, well than that’s just terrific. Make yourself known to me and I’ll be happy to thank you. In the meantime, God please protect me from your followers. I’m WANZIE and
that’s all I wrote!  EXTRA
– NOTE FROM WANZIE – EXTRA – NOTE FROM WANZIE - EXTRA Does GOD want you to have FREE TICKETS go see comedian MARIO CANTONE at HARD ROCK LIVE? Well, since
everything is
in God’s capable hands, obviously if God intendeds you should win
tickets to see MARIO CANTONE then so be it ... God’s will be done ...
you shall have them! And for everyone else who doesn’t win the tickets, there’s to be no moaning and complaining. If God wants you to win this contest than you will win. And since we are giving away only one pair of tickets, then obviously God wants all of the rest of you to loose. It’s as simple as that!
Here’s all you have to do to win: Send a printed "Prayer to GOD", via direct email to Michael Wanzie (they are very close pals) which indicates why you should be singled out, by GOD, over all other God-fearing WANZeGRAM subscribers, to win FREE TICKETS to see MARIO CANTONE at HARD ROCK LIVE! If it’s true God answers prayers, perhaps you will be divinely selected to win the tickets. And if God doesn’t intervene in this process, WANZIE will be the sole arbitrator on God’s behalf, and will determine the winner. Parodies and Prayers of a satirical nature will probably fare best. Send to your prayers to michael@WANZIE.com. All prayers must be received by midnight on Tuesday June 3, 2008. Please include your name and the city in which you reside. Winner will be contacted by email on Wednesday, June 4. The winning entry will appear in the WANZeGRAM of Friday, June 6, 2008. If you lack faith in this process you are more than welcome to purchase tickets to see MARIO CANTONE ($35 & $40) by simply clicking here! Otherwise, WANZIE
and GOD await your prayers. The Gram is ended. Go in peace.
you can always view the latest version online: Click Here!
|
I
realize I don’t bear many physical scars from my recent auto accident,
indeed no broken bones. I understand how “lucky” (I believe that’s the
word everyone keeps using - lucky) that I wasn’t more severely injured,
or that the car didn’t roll over, etc. etc.
