Make sure you always get your GRAM, add "michael@WANZIE.com" to your address book! Having difficulties viewing your WANZeGRAM, you can always view the latest version online:  Click Here! PLEASE NOTE: Your WANZeGRAM contains images which our stored on our web server and should load when you open it.  Depending upon your own settings, you might need to manually allow for them to be displayed.  Check your personal preferences or options. You might also close and then re-open and find the images being displayed.  Otherwise, view it online!

THIS WEEK'S WANZeGRAM IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

NOW PLAYING   NOW PLAYING   NOW PLAYING   NOW PLAYING

Find out more about MY ILLUSTRIOUS WASTELAND here!

WANZeGRAM Sponsorships are Available!

A pair of tickets to see BLUE MAN GROUP, valued at $150, is just one of the many fantastic prize? You may win simply by inviting your friends and associates to subscribe to the WANZeGRAM.  It begins Sunday morning.  So, when you crawl out of bed, grab that hot cup of coffee or tea, and before you spread out the Sunday paper on the breakfast table or bed, spend just a little time loading up on chances to win great prizes.  It's the great 2008 Summer WANZeGRAM Subscription Drive.

You don’t even have to be the person who manages to get the most people to subscribe in order to walk away with a prize. Plus you get to choose exactly what you would like to win!

Even Your Most Worthless Friends Can Prove Valuable!
Multiple winners will be given the opportunity to choose their prize (in order of the number of new subscribers they were able to attract) from the Fabulous WANZeGRAM Prize Patrol Menu below. Even if you don’t come in first place you may still win exactly what you had hoped to win; after all, the person selecting ahead of you might not choose the prize you most wanted. Second, third, and yes, even a fourth and a fifth place winner will get the chance to walk away with something, and all the prizes are great.

Anyone Can Win, Even If You’re A Loser!
Once the first through fifth place winners have chosen their loot, every single current subscriber, who get’s even one new person to subscribe to the WANZeGRAM, will go into a drawing for an equal chance to win the remaining prizes. A separate drawing will be held for the new subscribers that you attract as well – so literally everyone involved has multiple chances to win.

The Blue Man Group tickets are valid through June of 2009, and the $50 Best Buy gift certificate is valid anywhere in the country. CDs and DVDs can be played anywhere, and the Universal Studios tickets are good for at least a year – so even out-of-town winners can choose a prize that they can use in their hometown or during a future visit to Orlando.

2 tickets to BLUE MAN GROUP @ Sharp Aquas Theater, Universal Orlando Resort, CityWalk
-- arranged by Scottie Campbell
For more information and tickets: http://www.universalorlando.com/bmg_overview.html

2 tickets to JOEL McHALE (Host of The Soup on E!) @ Hard Rock Live,  Universal Orlando Resort, CityWalk
-- arranged by Jeff Jones
For more information on Joel McHale: http://www.myspace.com/joelmchale
For more event information and tickets: http://www.hardrock.com/live2/Calendar.aspx?LocationID=115&MIBEnumID=3&eventid=31067

2 ONE-DAY/TWO-PARK PASSES to Universal Studios Florida & Islands of Adventure, Universal Orlando Resort
-- arranged by Neil (BBBingo regular) Ferris
For more information on Islands of Adventure: http://www.universalorlando.com/ioa_index.html
For more information on Universal Studios Florida: http://www.universalorlando.com/usf_index.html

QUARTER-PAGE AD in W.H.O. Magazine
-- courtesy of Peter and Frank
For more information: http://www.myspaceprofiles.org/profiles/117361359.html

$50 Gift Certificate to BEST BUY
-- arranged by Realtor® David Dorman
For more information on Best Buy: http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?type=page&id=cat12090
For more information on Realtor® David Dorman: http://DavidDorman.com

$50 Gift Certificate to Orlando’s Nube Nove Salon
-- arranged by Stylist/Colorist Michael Booth
For more information: http://www.myspace.com/nubenovesalon

2 Tickets to VEGAS NIGHT @ PH (Three prizes available!)
-- courtesy of Don & Susan
For more information: http://www.parliamenthouse.com/orlando/events/default.asp?type=club

2 Tickets to LUCY LIVE! at the PARLIAMENT HOUSE (written by John Ryan)
-- courtesy by John Ryan
For more information on John Ryan: http://www.myspace.com/mypalbette
For more details on Lucy Live at the PH!: see article below!

2 Tickets to SIMON SEZ Comedy Hypnosis Show
-- courtesy of Master Hypnotist Jon Simon
For more information: http://wanzie.com/boxoffice/#simon_sez

2 Tickets to TWISTED SISTERS COMEDY HOUR
-- courtesy of Miss Sammy & Carol Lee

Plus CDs, DVDs, Disney Memorabilia & More!

Click on any link in the prize patrol menu above to learn more about that item/event/service/or provider.

HOW TO INFLUENCE FRIENDS AND WIN PRIZES
Simply click here and follow the instructions that we have provided for you to send to your list of friends and colleagues whom you believe may subscribe. You may also add your own personal message, if you so choose. The email text we provide contains a link to a special online subscription form which will instruct your friends to enter their name and email address as well as YOUR name and email address, thus identifying YOU as the current subscriber who invited them to join our WANZeGRAM family.
 
The current subscriber who is named most often by new subscribers will be declared the first place winner.
 
It’s just that easy.  It’s simple and quick, and even your friends who subscribe will automatically be entered to win prizes by random draw.
 
Your opportunity to win a fabulous prize is just a mouse click away! 

CONTEST BEGINS AT 11 AM SUNDAY, JULY 19, 2008

CONTEST ENDS AT MIDNIGHT ON MONDAY, JULY 29, 2008

IMPORTANT NOTICE: YOU may NOT enter email addresses on behalf of others. You may only invite others to subscribe on their own. The WANZeGRAM does not engage in spam. The WANZeGRAM is sent only to people who have personally requested to become a subscriber. All subscription requests MUST originate from the new subscriber’s email address, be verified or they will not be registered. So please, send out the invitation to as many people you care to, but do NOT attempt to enter anyone else’s email address on your own; doing so will disqualify YOU from the contest.

Winner of our Featured Prize Listing/ NUBE NOVE
Nube Nove Salon, located in the heart of Thornton Park, offers a variety of services for your beauty needs.  Specializing in the latest color trends and hair designs, Nube Nove offers wedding services, multiple hair-removal services, and newest to their extensive menu - extensions specialist Jill, for all of your human hair additional needs.  Nube Nove invites you to reserve your time with one of their hair design professionals, and let Nube Nove give you the “experience” that you deserve.”  Proud sponsor of The Great 2008 WANZeGRAM Summer Subscription Drive!

JOIN WANZIE FOR ENCORE CONCERT AT EPCOT!

Each year, Walt Disney World’s Encore! Cast Choir & Orchestra gives all Walt Disney World cast members and their families the opportunity to perform in a choral/orchestral environment, with proceeds from each concert being given to a selected charity. This year, United Arts of Central Florida has been selected as the designated charity.

Encore! Cast Choir and Orchestra is proud to present their next concert, entitled “Anything Can Happen!”, featuring songs from popular Broadway shows including, Hairspray, Spamalot, BKLYN, Mamma Mia, Candide, Jekyll & Hyde, Legally Blonde and Blast!

Epcot’s World Showplace is located between the UK pavilion and the bridge to France. Concert-goers will be escorted to the venue form the main entrance only. Access to the concert will NOT be available from the France/Boardwalk entrance to the park.

The concert will be presented on three consecutive nights, at Epcot's World Showplace and does NOT require theme park admission to attend. Concert-goers will also receive *complimentary parking. Concert check-in begins at 6 PM. Earlier admission to Epcot is not available. Discount concessions (everything’s just a buck) will be on sale at the concert venue just prior to show time and during intermission.

WANZIE will be attending the third and final performance on July 25th, and hopes many subscribers will consider joining him. Among the many performers will be WANZeGRAM subscriber Terry Newby, who was kind enough to provide this invitation.

Walt Disney World

presents

ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN

A Concert to Benefit United Arts of Central Florida

July 23, 24, & 25, 2008

EPCOT World Showplace

** 8 PM

Tickets:

$10 In advance, available online: http://redchairproject.tix.com/Schedule.asp?actcode=28730

Or from any ENCORE! cast member!

$15 at the gate  (Cash only)

*You MUST print out your own parking pass in order to avoid Epcot parking fee. Please do so by logging onto: http://encorecentral.org/info.html

**Please allow 45 minutes to park, check-in at registration table adjacent to Guest Services to the right of the Main Entrance, and to be escorted (yes you have to walk) to concert facility. Valid photo ID is required.

It’s New Years Eve 1978. Lucille Ball has taken to the road with a one-woman show designed to save her career. Little does she know her manager has accidentally booked her into the notorious Orange Blossom Trail landmark and gay Mecca, The Parliament House! Hilarity and drama ensue as the comic diva goes on with the show amongst strippers, drag queens, and one surprising fan.

Written by John Ryan LUCY LIVE! at the PARLIAMENT HOUSE was conceived specifically to be performed at the Footlight Theatre, and is but one of two Ryan-penned shows to be performed at the PH this summer.

First up is the little TV-Land comedy that took the 2008 Orlando Fringe by storm – NEW ROCHELLE.

NEW ROCHELLE stars the fabulous Janine Klein in the June Cleaver spot, the perky Brittany Berkowitz as the princess daughter gone bad, Tim DeBaun as the Father who rarely knows best, and Ryan himself as the son who seems a little different than the rest of the kids in the neighborhood, somewhere that’s green.

If you loved John Ryan’s MY PAL BETTE, then you must see NEW ROCHELLE (if you haven’t already). And, if you love NEW ROCHELLE and/or I LOVE LUCY, then you must see LUCY LIVE! at the PARLIAMENT HOUSE.

The fabulous Elizabeth (My Illustrious Wasteland) Murff plays Lucille Ball. The show also features cutie-pie Steven (Monorail Inferno) Johnson and the ever present Miss (Yesterday’s Catch) Sammy!

NEW ROCHELLE
Two Shows Only
Saturday, July 19th @ 8 PM
Saturday, July 26th @ 8 PM
Tickets $10

LUCY LIVE! at the PARLIAMENT HOUSE
Three Shows on Sale:
Saturday, August 16th @ 8 PM
Saturday, August 23rd @ 8 PM
Saturday, August 30th @ 8 PM
Tickets $15

In between those two shows be sure to catch the comedy hypnosis show with Master Hypnotist Jon Simon:

SIMON SEZ:
Comedy Hypnosis Show
Two Shows Only
Saturday, August 2nd @ 8 PM
Saturday, August 9th @ 8 PM
Tickets $10

A HOLLYWOOD PARTY IN ORLANDO & LOCALS ON TV!

DO YOU HAVE A JOB FOR VAL, MIRIAM, BECKY, WANZIE?

There are several WANZeGRAM subscribers and associates who are looking for project work and/or actual ongoing employment.  Please take a look at who’s available for what and by all means you may make immediate contact if you have a position for which any of these fine folks may qualify:

First up; Val Bungart needs a new job because the state budget cuts in education cut a little too deeply into Val and her programs.

VALERIE BUNGART

Work History:
 
20 years teaching Television Production
Seminole & Volusia Counties – grades 6-9
Created own curricula

Taught computers – grades K-5

Taught stylized computer education program to teachers & administrators

Co-owner/editor of Themeparks.com – 19 years and still going strong

Co-editor of Toxicaudio.com

Opening Crew of Discovery Cove in the now defunct position of Dolphin Education Specialist

Tour Guide for the Backstage Studio Tour at the then Disney-MGM Studios

On-air personality/copy writer/ad salesperson/news reporter/gofer/token female, light years ago at a radio & TV station in Nowhere, Ohio

Clerical / Office Work

Countless experiences chaperoning students to various & assorted ball games, band competitions, Disneyland & Walt Disney World
 
Education:

Bachelor of Science in Broadcast Journalism / Ohio University

Numerous post-graduate education classes

Years (And years, and years and years) of life experiences
 
Personal Note from Val:

“I don’t necessarily want to stay in public education, but employment with an educational bent is always a consideration… something that makes use of my creativity, allows me to wear my Aloha shirts and doesn’t require I wear makeup would be bliss.” – Val Bungart 

Interested parties my contact Val at val@themeparks.com

---

Miriam P. Saunders

OBJECTIVE
To obtain a managerial position in retail sales or fine dining.

HISTORY
20 years in varied businesses geared towards providing ultimate patron satisfaction.

Impeccable skills in trouble shooting, facilitating, communication, and detail oriented tasks.

Co-Founder Tropical Theatre: Artistic Director, Producer, Designer, Performer, Fund Raiser.

EMPLOYMENT
June 2006- Oct. 2007           
Retail Sales    The Wine Room - Winter Park, Fl
Cross-trained as host, cashier, bartender, Fromage Cave attendant, Eno-Technician, catered special events, maintained knowledge of wines and artisanal cheeses.

June 2005- May 2006           
Sales Associate   Chloe's Collection - Orlando, Fl.
Responsible for sales, merchandising, pricing, phone orders and personal customer consultation for special orders.

May 2003-June 2005     
Manager   Le Creuset - Orlando Fl.
Executed goal oriented sales, attended to merchandising and back stock tasks. Placed phone orders and related shipping requests. Opening / closing as well as floor training each new employee.

Nov 2002- May 2003
Manager   Williams Sonoma - Orlando, Fl.
Responsible for general sales and promoting featured items.  Mounted current displays, booked and organized cooking demos. Placed special orders with subsequent shipping and executed frequent back stock inventory.

Mar 2001- Oct. 2002          
Host Manager   Brio Tuscan Grille - Winter Park, Fl.
Trained new hosts in class and on floor. Organized reservations, trouble shot any guest complications before they arose; called for pass arounds; provided total guest satisfaction.

May 1997- Oct.  1997         
Assistant Manager    Cynthia Rowley - NYC
Executed general sales, opening / closing, stock orders and customer requests.  Compiled daily sales and inventory reports as well as constructing and arranging floor displays and upheld store maintenance.

Interested parties may contact Miriam at cocktailsfortwo@earthlink.net or by dialing 407- 425 - 3366.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Miriam is also a voice over artist and actress extraordinaire whose voice talent was most recently heard in The Twisted Sisters Comedy Hour as that of the sultry husky-voiced legend, Tallulah Bankhead. She also appeared for one holiday season as one half of the WANZIE-created comedy carolers, THE JINGLE BELLS, in a role she shared with Monique Byrnes, alternately singing opposite Meredith Walker and Becky Fisher.

And Speaking of Becky Fisher ...]

---

REBECCA FISHER

In addition to her considerable voice over, singing and acting talents, remember that Becky is also a free lance interior decorator and custom fabricator of window treatments, pillows, comforters and other custom sewing projects. Becky is an excellent colorist and will take on just about any project as consultant, personal shopper, and/or fabricator. While on a brief hiatus from performing, Becky is available for a limited time right now, and would be pleased to hear from anyone who might like to employ her decorating talents at the most competitive/reasonable rates:

To contact Rebecca Fisher just shoot her an email at fishswandiva@yahoo.com

And be sure to tell her you saw her recommendation in the WANZeGRAM!

---

WANZIE

While WANZIE is taking time off to reformat his many scripts to industry standards, update his website, look for literary representation, and conceive a new play, he still has to feed himself, and as you can well imagine, that in and of itself is a major expense, thus WANZIE is available for free-lance writing projects, entertainment consulting, emceeing and hosting of special events, theme-park guide services, and house-sitting.  You may contact WANZIE through email.

---

SHARPEN TONGUES. FAN THE FLAMES. TIME TO ROAST!

ON THE DAIS:

Comedy Dragster
Gidget Galore

Radio Personality/Actor/Opera Star
Doug Ba’aser

Watermark Publisher/Writer/Lawyer
Tom Dyer

WHO Magazine Columnist/Hollywood Gad-About
Mr. Steve of Bel Air

Event Producer/Cracko The Clown
Doug White

Writer/Actor
Scottie Campbell

Twisted Sister/Singer/Hostess/Performer Extraordinaire
Carol Lee

Comedian/Writer
Jeff Jones

Ernestine (Doug Fish) Tomlin
Of the Telephone Company

And others!

Roastmaster
Michael Wanzie

THE SAM SINGHAUS 50TH BIRTHDAY CELEBRITY ROAST is the kick off event of the PARLIAMENT HOUSE 33rd ANNIVERSARY WEEK-LONG CELEBRATION. In fact, immediately following the Roast will be the FOOTLIGHT PLAYERS REUNION SHOW in the Disco.

There is no charge to attend Sam’s Roast. The Reunion Show requires a separate ticket purchase.

THE SAM SINGHAUS
50TH BIRTHDAY
CELEBRITY ROAST

MONDAY, JULY 21, 2008

Reception 6 PM
Footlight Lounge
Complimentary Appetizers / Cash Bar

Celebrity Roast 7 PM
Footlight Theater
No Charge!

Footlight Players Reunion Show 10 PM
DISCO
Starring: Nazhoni, Carmella Marcella Garcia, Rusti Fawcet,
Mokah Montrese, Lorrie Del Mar, Tiffany,
and the current Footlight Players.

ONLY $12

COMING ATTRACTIONS:

PH EMPLOYEE TURNABOUT!   Always hilarious. Always a crowd pleaser. This annual fundraising event features PH employees from every department (bartenders, servers, housekeepers, front desk clerks, security guards and administrators) who take a turn (and sometimes a spill) as once-a-year drag queens on stage in the Footlight Theater.

The recipient of the proceeds from this year’s event will be the Joy MCC Thanksgiving Food Drive.

A minimum suggested donation of $5.00 is requested upon entry, and 100% of all performer tips go to the cause.

An outrageously funny event that is not to be missed!

EMPLOYEE TURN-A-BOUT

WEDNESDAY, JULY 23, 2008

The evening starts out with Beach Blanket Bingo at 5:30-ish
VIDEO BAR

Turn-A-Bout Showtime
9 PM
Footlight Theater

Go Go Gods
in the Video Bar at 11 PM

STUDIO 55
Floorshow with
Leigh Shannon, Page King & Special Guests
11 PM in the Disco

 So You Think You Can Dance Contest
Midnight

DJ Brianna will be spinning Retro in the disco to round out this great Anniversary Week Night.

And don’t miss the concert on Saturday night:

THEATER: My Illustrious Wasteland Tod Kimbro’s brand new sci-fi rock musical features 7 songs from Tod's album, Soundtrack to a Chemical Spill, along with 10 brand new numbers.  Equal parts futuristic adventure epic, twisted social commentary, and high-energy rock show, this is a musical and theatrical experience like no other, from Tod and Beth Marshall Presents. WANZIE makes a teensy cameo appearance (on screen), along with David Lee, Miss Sammy and half of Orlando. The onstage ensemble includes Willie Marchante, Ryan Leyhue, Jolie Hart, Lanie Hoxie, DOUG, Domonique Minor, Dorothy Massey, Lisa K. Rinaldi, Michelle Rogers, Corey Volence, and Elizabeth Murff among others. The show stars Brittany Berkowitz as Sunny Day, Christopher McIntyre as Mogs, Beth Marshall as Loretta, and Tod Kimbro as The President Reverend M.D.         Tod Kimbro’s MY ILLUSTRIOUS WASTELAND Directed by John Didonna Assisted by Mike Marinaccio ONLY THREE SHOWS REMAIN! July 10-20, 2008 Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays at 7 PM Sundays at 4:00 PM Lowndes Shakespeare Center/Margeson Theatre Special Industry Night Performance Monday, July 14 at 7:00 PM Tickets: $25 Tickets available online here! TV: House Hunters REALTOR® David Dorman will soon be featured in an upcoming episode of HGTV’s flagship show House Hunters. The show, which was filmed in the Orlando area in January 2008, focuses on the ups and downs of the home buying process.  Dorman is featured as the REALTOR® and real estate expert who assists the buyers, Cathy and Michael Roddy, as they seek out a new home.  House Hunters is purported to be the number-one, audience-favorite show on HGTV.  Dorman was chosen by the producers to be the on-air area expert for this edition of House Hunters after they spotted him during his highly effective appearance on HGTV’s My House is Worth What?, which aired earlier this year. The episode of House Hunters in which Dorman appears will air on The Home and Garden Station  - HGTV - at the following times: July 27, 2008 8:00 PM ET/PT July 28, 2008 12:00 AM ET/PT THEATER: Die Mommie Die Do you know about an event, audition, opportunity, or anything else that you believe subscribers should know about? Email WANZIE here and tell him about it.  There are no guarantees, but all will be considered! We reserve the right to edit all entry requests!

A NOTE FROM WANZIE!

First and foremost, allow me to offer a great big sigh-of-relief-and-jump-with-joy congratulations to WANZeGRAM subscriber DAVID LEE,  or, as he his now to be officially known (Get this title, it’s for real) –

"Assistant Professor David Karl Lee – University of Central Florida and Associate Director of New Play Development and PLAYFEST and Resident Artist at UCF/Orlando Shakespeare Theater"

I am sooooooo happy for, and proud of, David!

The UCF selection committee had David jumping through hoops during a seemingly endless arduous national search to select a candidate to take on the tenured track position that David has been filling in recent years as a “Visiting Artist.” 

David is now a “Resident Artist” and an “Assistant Professor” on a track toward Tenure. Finally a local arts-related entity has decided to not pass over local talent in favor of someone from outside the area. David has worked so hard these past few years toward achieving this goal. In addition to his teaching duties, David has been in charge of new play acquisitions, co-producing PlayFest (for the Orlando Shakes), and during this past year alone David has either directed or appeared in 10 fully-produced theatrical productions, not the least of which was his amazing, critically acclaimed performance in OPUS as well as his comedic turn in our production of WHEN PIGS FLY at Fringe.

I’m sure you will all join me in congratulating University of Miami grad and Yale (Masters Degree) Graduate and now UCF Assistant Professor and Resident Artist, David Karl Lee, who began his career appearing in the chorus of OLIVER, at the Orlando Civic Theater, dancing alongside Rich Charron, both of whom were cast by then Civic Theater choreographer Michael Wanzie.

Rich just graduated from UCF.

I however remain a high school drop out with lots of smart friends who keep getting smarter while I sing songs about “Dick” at the Fringe Festival.

Such is life.

Also of note – David Dorman, who has been very much involved in fund-raising efforts for St. Frances House, has just been named to the Board of Directors of that fine organization. Congrats and best wishes to David in his continued efforts for this worthy cause.

Here’s my quote for this week, which was stated during filibustering against making Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday a national holiday; “Martin Luther King was a practitioner of action-oriented Marxism, whose principles were not compatible with the concepts of this country!” – Republican Senator Jesse Helms – The Great State of North Carolina.

Now on to something REALLY important –

MAMA MIA opened today!

How excited am I?

I am probably proportionately excited about seeing this film in direct opposition to how much Rich Charron would hate having to sit through it.

I love me some ABBA! Rich can’t stand them. (It’s amazing he and I have managed to remain friends for over 25 years now when you consider his disdain for ABBA and his near manic obsession with the University of Florida Gators).

DOUG and I will be reviewing Mama Mia on the MONDAY MOVIE REVIEW with WANZIE & DOUG, this Monday at 5:15PM on The Philips Phile / Real Radio 104.1 FM in Orlando, or you may listen nationwide on XM Satellite Radio.

Barry Miller recently acquired a Smart Car. It’s like a big roller skate built for two that can park where no other cars can park and get’s 45-miles to the gallon. As a result he has decided to sell his beautiful LEXUS right out from under me. (I tend to drive it whenever he’s not looking ever since my poor little Honda was totaled).

Anyway – up for grabs is Barry’s gently driven (he’s an old Jew who only drove the car to and from The Closing Agent, and to Synagogue twice a year) 2001 Lexus 430 SL 4-Door Luxury Sedan, which has been meticulously cared for and maintained during it’s 73,000 miles of travel.

FEATURES:
Sun Roof
Levinson Sound System
Sirius Radio
Heated Electric Seats
Electric Windows & Mirrors
Automatic Lights & Wipers
All Leather Interior with High Gloss Wood Accents
Navigation System

Initial purchase price was  $43,000.00
(That was after Barry haggled down the price and before Sirius radio was added and before the bronze plaque was installed – “WANZIE ONCE DROVE THIS CAR”)

Sale price: $19,900

Interested parties may contact Barry Miller at barry@theclosingagent.com or call him: 407.509.9899

If anyone has a spare car or scooter they are not using kindly contact me at Mchael@wanzie.com

I am pleased to report that the screening of PAUL WEGMAN: A Tribute at the Parliament House last Saturday raised $1,631.49
to be contributed to the fund for creating a safe haven meeting space for the Orlando Youth Alliance at The Center.

Thanks to all who attended and contributed to the success of the evening.

Come October, I will be emceeing the Miss OBTA Pageant for the 11th consecutive year. Jeff Horn informs there are only four other 11-year veterans of the event. They would be Jeff himself, Rai, Ric, and Phil of the Orange Blossom Tennis Association, which has raised literally tens upon tens of thousands of dollars for St. Francis House and The Genesis Community Program. (And for 11-years running those sweethearts Ric and Phil have provided a gift of premium Vodka to me at the end of every pageant.) I think they think I won’t attend otherwise, and while that’s not at all true, please don’t let them know that.

Anyway, this Sunday – Jeff & Rai and the gang are inviting any and all interested parties to join them in the Footlight Lounge for a DVD/Slide Show overview of the past 11 years of Miss OBTA Pageants. This is occurring from 6 PM – 7 PM. There is no charge.
Sounds like it will prove to be both fun, and I’m sure for many (my self included), embarrassing. I intend to be there, so if you want to share a few laughs, come on out and join Rai and Jeff and I this Sunday.

The next night I do hope all local subscribers will join me at the PH as we roast Sam Singhaus on his 50th Birthday. Doug White is decorating/creating a total special event environment, and I know Jeff Jones has been writing to filth for his coveted appearance in the Lisa Lampaneili spot.  Doug Fish has been editing video, and pianist Rich Charron will be accompanying Frank McClain for a special musical number. I’m the Roastmaster and the dais will be chuck full of semi-celebrities.  All the pertinent information appears in the body of this Gram above. Please join us.

Also, (just FYI) Sam and his family and all the Roasters and myself will be attending the Footlight Players Reunion show that will begin in the Disco approximately one half-hour after the Roast concludes.

And now it’s time for me to conclude this NOTE FROM WANZIE by simply reminding you of a few things of which you should be mindful: Televangelists are frauds. The Pope is a criminal. The President of the United States of America is a complete and total f*ckwad. Fox News is anything but “Fair and Balanced”. Pastor Richard Roberts is a multi-millionaire. The Boy Scouts are prejudiced. Wal-Mart is the Axis of Evil. “Combos” purchased at Regal Cinema Winter Park do not save you one single cent over the purchase of the exact same items, individually. The Holyland Experience doesn’t pay taxes. Gas costs too much money quite on purpose as part of a calculated plan so that the masses will eventually say, “screw the environment, drill, please drill”. Pringles are not potato chips. V-8 contains artificial ingredients. It’s illegal to feed the homeless in Lake Eola Park. Scientologists have taken over downtown Clearwater to the point of being downright scary. Osama Bin Laden has never been caught. No weapons of mass destruction were ever found in Iraq. There were no terrorist cells in Iraq until after we invaded the country without provocation. The newly installed, democratically elected Iraqi government wants us out of their country. John McCain want us to stay in Iraq for a hundred years. As of this writing (Thurs. July 17, 2008) 3,982 Americans have lost their lives in Iraq during the time SINCE our sorry-ass-excuse-of-a-President declared “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED” on May 2, 2003.  In total 4,121 Americans are dead as a result of fighting the “War on Terror” in Iraq when in reality the terrorist were and are in Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan. Since our invasion of their country, 1, 236, 604 Iraqis are dead as a result of our intrusion (yes, you read that correctly – ONE MILLION, TWO HUNDRED THIRTY SIX THOUSAND, SIX HUNDRED FOUR dead people) most of them completely innocent citizens (in many cases entire families wiped out) with no ties to terrorism or any militant groups. John McCain wants to stay President Bush’s course and win this unwinnable war from which 30,409 Americans have returned home wounded; a huge percentage with some form of brain damage or diminished mental capacity. "George W" is an imbecile and John McCain is older than Christ’s underwear [EDITOR'S NOTE: That's "Christ", not "Crist"]. Criminal at-large Carl Rove is advising John McCain on his campaign. Senator Craig is still a senator. OJ Simpson got away with murder. After more than 15-years in operation, the folks at Universal Studios Florida still have no idea how to park cars in an efficient manner. Disney has always done a stellar job at parking cars but that does not excuse how horrible an attraction is Stitch’s Great Escape. Florida Governor Charlie Crist [EDITOR'S NOTE: That's "Crist", not "Christ"] is as gay a goose. It remains illegal for gay persons to adopt children in the state of Florida. It remains illegal for persons in the state of Florida to engage in sex with someone of the same gender, which is classified by statute as a “lewd & lascivious act”. It remains illegal in the state of Florida for gay couples to become married. The divorce rate among heterosexuals has risen to nearly 60%. Heterosexual men seem to like to beat their wives quite a bit in this country. Heterosexual parents routinely leave their children locked in hot cars, shake their children, beat their children, set their children on fire, rape their children, starve their children, abandon their children, hold their children under water, and quite often kill their children. Really. These things happen every single day in this country, but gays can’t adopt because we are pre-proposed to be unfit for parenthood, as though being straight automatically qualifies someone to raise a kid, and we can’t marry because we might cast a disparaging light on the “sanctity” of marriage!  

On the brighter side, when last I checked, Jessie Helms remains dead.

I’m WANZIE and That’s All I Wrote!