And all this time you thought he was just Becky Fisher's husband; but oh, contraire! Joe Swanberg is, indeed, Jesus Christ on earth. WANZIE is a cookie-addicted gangland Santa, and Darby Ballard is his two-timing wife. David Lee is the Easter Bunny suffering through a sexual identity crisis. Hunky Steven Arwood is the scantily clad Archangel, and precious pumpkin-in-waiting Eric Fagan is a gun-toting elf in an all-new comedy coming your way just in time to usher in the Holiday Season - HOLY CRAP! 

 

Wanzie Presents will debut the World Premiere presentation of the high-camp comedy HOLY CRAP! at the Footlight Theatre on Saturday evening, November 7, at 8 PM.

 

Written by Dustin Burton, Lucas Koester, and well-known PH illustrated bartender Taylor Bulloch of 3Gen/Ballard Productions, HOLY CRAP is a comedic expose' of the relationships between (and the genesis of) The Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, Archangel Michael, and Jesus Christ, under the able direction of Kenny Howard.

 

In this hilariously sacrilegious comedy, capitalism is the new world religion, and Jesus Christ is CEO of the company.  All hell has broken loose, and God is MIA. Witness the world's most popular mythical characters vie for power as the battle ensues to win back heaven - fueled by the secret herbal ingredients of Mrs. Claus's special cookies. 

 

Will that egg-toting, cigar-smoking bunny ever be able to get in touch with his feminine side?  And watch out for that renegade elf! Remember, "Sprinkles carries the heat."

 

 

Wanzie Presents a 3Gen/Ballard Production

HOLY CRAP!

A New Comedy by
Dustin Burton & Taylor Bulloch & Lucas Koester

Directed by Kenny Howard

Saturdays at 8 PM
November 7, 14, & 21
Industry Night Performance - Monday, November 16
 

 

Footlight Theatre
The Parliament House
410 N. Orange Blossom Trail
Orlando, FL   32805

Only: $10

Tickets now on sale

Choose the Best Seats in House Right Now:
www.WANZIE.com/boxoffice 

 

 

PRINCESS TIANA'S SHOWBOAT JUBILEE made its Magic Kingdom debut on October 26, a full 6 weeks prior to the scheduled December release date of the Disney animated film upon which the show is based - or - dare we say it - the film about which the show is intended to market. Either way; doesn't matter. We here at the WANZeGRAM World Headquarters have been inundated with reports from big wig Disney execs and hourly cast members alike, as well as from WANZeGRAM subscribers who are Disney Annual Pass-holders, all saying pretty much the same thing: "This show is absolutely wonderful!"

 

The live musical production, on board a riverboat at Liberty Square, features the characters, music, and exuberant spirit of New Orleans based upon Walt Disney Pictures' new movie The Princess and the Frog.

 

Here's the official Disney pitch about the in-park Jubilee:  "Guests find themselves immersed in the vibrant, festive atmosphere of New Orleans and the mystical Louisiana bayou. Filled with the spirited sounds that originated here - jazz, the blues, and the zydeco beat - Tiana's Showboat Jubilee will make it impossible not to want to move your feet!"

 

The 15-minute performance begins New Orleans Street Parade-style, marching through Liberty Square and making its way onto one of the park's attraction Riverboats.  The "Jubilee" is then viewed by guests standing on the shoreline of The Rivers of America, and includes appearances by Disney's very first Black animated star - Princess Tiana, as well as her Prince Naveen, Louis, and Doctor Facilier.

 

A sizable gaggle of theme park guests are pre-selected to appear in the show. Disney dons them in choir robes and hands them tambourines, and off they go sailing along the Rivers of America along with the stars of the film.

 

Remarks we've received concerning this new daily entertainment offering range from "Delightful," to "Finally something completely fresh," to "Goosebumply."

 

The only negative comment we've heard is that if you stake out a good viewing position along the river to actually enjoy the floating performance, you miss seeing the parade/embarkation portion of the spectacle. Word on the street is that standing on the Bridge to Big Thunder Railroad (with Splash Mountain at your back) is an ideal spot for viewing because you see the boat from the front as it approaches that particular bend in the river, and you see it from the side as it passes, and also from the rear after it has gone by. Apparently the show director has taken these angles into consideration, and we are told the characters continuously move about the riverboat accordingly.

 

Tiana's Showboat Jubilee is a limited engagement at the Magic Kingdom Park, so if you want to see it, you'll have to get out there fairly soon as it will give its final performance on January 3, 2010. The Jubilee performs multiple times daily. Check the printed entertainment schedule once you arrive at the park, or call ahead to inquire about show times on the date of your intended visit.

 

 

The new animated feature film, which inspired Tiana's Showboat Jubilee, is being touted by Disney as, "A classic tale, featuring a beautiful girl named Tiana, a frog prince who desperately wants to be human again, and a fateful kiss that leads them both on a hilarious adventure through the mystical bayous of Louisiana."

 

Walt Disney Pictures
THE PRINCESS and the FROG
In movie theaters nationwide
December 11, 2009

 

 

 

TONIGHT!
 
DOUG BA 'ASER and JOSH EADS
Star in
 
THE MYSTERY OF IRMA VEP

DOUG and Josh play all eight characters in the play, racingthrough a literal quick-change marathon complete with werewolves, vampires, and damsels in distress. Combine all this with crazy plot twists and gender-bending comedy, and you have the recipe for a show that is just meant to be seen by WANZeGRAM subscribers.
 
SAVE $5 on a single ticket
 (Pay $12 instead of $17)
 
Or
 
Reserve for two and you can
Buy One Get One FREE!
(SAVE $17!)
 
Tonight & Halloween Night
 
8:30 PM
(Show ends in plenty of time to get to the PH
long before the costume contest!)
 
Sleuth's Mystery Dinner Theatre
8267 International Drive
(In the plaza behind Ripley's Believe It Or Not)
Orlando, FL   32819
 
Reservations: 407-363-1985
 Ask for the  "WANZeGRAM Discount"
 
 
IT'S ALSO LAST CALL FOR:
 
 
HALLOWEEN
The Musical
The Night HE Came Home to Sing!
 
Final Show Saturday at 8:00 PM
 
Reserve a Ticket to "See The 1978 Cult Horror Classic Come To Life as a Musical" on Saturday, October 31, and get admission to The Parliament House HALLOWEEN PARTY & COSTUME COMPETITION - Including two Female Impersonation Shows and all-clubs access - for FREE!
 
See clips from Halloween The Musical:
http://oetv.tv/video/oetv-halloween-the-musical/ 
 

 

Do You Have The Winning Costume?
 

 

TONIGHT
Friday, October 30

 (and remember FREE COVER CHARGE until 11pm)

 

 

$1,000 To A Single Winner!
 
Friday's winner may also return on HALLOWEEN night when the PH will award

 

$3,000 To A Single Winner!

 

No Place Does HALLOWEEN Like
The Parliament House:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She's Baaaaaack!
 
(Because she was so God damned funny the first time)
 

 

Make plans now to see
"Orlando's Favorite Pancake Hostess"
 
RESERVATIONS: 407.540.0317
 

 

With the recent acquisition of a full liquor license, our good pal Stephen - bartender/owner of the all-new Stonewall Neighborhood Bar, has secured some of your favorite folks to host a themed evening every night of the week.
 
Starting the week out is David Lee's YOUTUBE MUSICAL MON-DAZE! David shares his favorite YouTube music videos, which he has discovered and pre-selected throughout the week for your every-Monday-night enjoyment! All your favorites and some fun and funky delights from Broadway, stage and screen, to brand spanking new musical artists!
 
"Liza and Lady GaGa meet MIKA and The Muppet Babies at one of the freshest Happy Hours in O-Town! There's even food! Ala Carte Pizzas and Lights in the Piazza, and Bar Food and Broadway Bares and Bears dancing to GLEE O-My!" - says Lee, who goes on to pose the question, "Where else can you see Cheyenne Jackson singing in his underwear, and gospel stoner songs from The Lawrence Welk Show?"
 
Answer: Only at the fabulous new Stonewall Bar on Church Street with its well-lit off-street, fenced-in parking lot. If you arrive and David is performing the opening from West Side Story in that lot, just honk and he'll "HOLD" and "CLEAR FOR TALENT!"  The fun starts at 6:30 PM, so come right from work.
 
Tuesdays the fabulous Vj ViVian plays music and videos "from the past" with something everyone will remember and love from their disco daze to the gay anthems and pop music of the more recent past.
 
Wednesdays, Orlando's favorite Jew Karaoke hostess, Janine Klein, belts her heart and lungs out while playing party hostess, visiting and hobnobbing, and encouraging others to get up and "Sing out Louise."  The party gets started around 9:30 PM and goes late.
 
Thursdays, Tony Edge invites you to come in your underwear to receive happy hour prices all night. It's THINK ABOUT IT THURSDAYS - an underwear party with one of Orlando's hottest and sweetest bartender/personal trainer hunks, and it's only at Stonewall!
 
Tonight - Friday, October 23 - Jimmy Stevens is filling in for regular Fearless Friday Karaoke host Scott Carter, who is busy being Frankenfurter in the Rocky Horror show during Universal's Halloween Horror Nights. The microphone is there for the taking beginning around 9:30 PM. So if you are a real Karaoke Junkie, you can begin with Twisted Sisters from 6-9 over at the PH, and continue your Karaoke habit at Stonewall, which is just a stone's throw away from PH.
 
SAVAGE SATURDAYS is a weekly Leather Night gathering. (Fairly self-explanatory.)
 
On SOCIAL SUNDAYS, Keith, who used to bartend over at Wyldes, presides over the casual and friendly, laid-back atmosphere and conversation among friends at your very own neighborhood bar on a lazy day.
 
Then comes Monday and it's time for David Lee's YOUTUBE MUSICAL MON-DAZE! all over again, but with a new, carefully assembled line-up of videos, chosen by David, with you and your likes and enjoyment in mind.
 
No matter the day of the week; there's always a special reason to visit 

 

Stonewall Neighborhood Bar
741 W. Church Street
Orlando, FL   32805
 
407.373.0888

 

"I called in sick at work (at a Downtown Disney store) so I could go see the Frog and Princess riverboat show at the Magic Kingdom on the first day.. I'm glad I did. It got me all goosebumply the way things at Disney used to do in the old days."

- Anonymous Disney Cast Member

 
"After having basically the very same tired old parade for years now...finally something fresh and worth seeing has come to the Magic Kingdom. TIANA'S SHOWBOAT JUBILEE would be considered an E-Ticket attraction by even the pickiest Disneyphile. I know, because I am one."

- Donna Struber, Annual Pass holder

 
 "We are not trying to entertain the critics. I'll take my chances with the public."

- Walt Disney 
 

 

 

Submit YOUR Short Take directly to WANZIE at michael@wanzie.com.Be sure to type "Short Take" in the subject line. Short Takes submissions must be received no later than midnight on each Tuesday, for inclusion in the following Friday GRAM.  A strict limit of 30 words maximum is imposed. You must provide your first and last name, which will be printed following your submission. Your name will not figure into your word count. All postings will be at the sole discretion of the management team at the lovely WANZIE.com World Headquarters, with offices inconveniently located in Melbourne, and Lake Mary, Florida.

 

 

 

My Two Cents submissions must be received no later than midnight on each Monday for possible inclusion in the next Friday GRAM. A strict limit of 350 words will be imposed. Please submit your column directly to WANZIE at michael@wanzie.com and kindly type "My Two Cents" in the subject line.

 

 

Orlando Shakes presentation of a modern thriller by award-winning playwright Steven Dietz.  A condemned tavern in New York City is the setting for intrigue and conspiracy centering on the events of September 11, 2001. "It is the Mother of All Conspiracies: when an entire nation is led to believe something completely different than the thing they have seen for themselves!" What is coincidence and what is fact?

 

The outstanding cast, under the direction of Anne Hering, includes Shakespeare Theater favorites Tom Nowicki (Opus), Jim Ireland (Glass Menagerie), Zack Robidas (Wittenberg) and Shakespeare Theater newcomer Katherine Skelton.  

Yankee Tavern is the kind of play you'll be thinking about long after you leave the theater. Artistic Director Jim Helsinger says of the play, "The first preview audience was captivated by act one, with lots of lively discussion at intermission.  Before the final moments of the show, the air in the Goldman theatre was charged with curiosity as to what happens next."  Come decide for yourself.

 

Yankee Tavern
October 14 to November 8
Wednesday-Thursday - 7 pm
Friday-Saturday - 8 pm
Sunday - 2 pm
Senior Matinees, October 21 & 28, November 4 - 2 pm
John & Rita Lowndes Shakespeare Center
812 E. Rollins Street
(Loch Haven Park)
Orlando, FL  32803
$14-$38
Phone orders:  407.447.1700
Online Tickets:  www.orlandoshakes.org

 

 

THEATER - JEKYLL & HYDE

The Greater Orlando Actors Theatre production opens Friday, October 30th, but they are offering their early ticket buyers a special discount.
 
Between now and opening night, all you have to do is enter the coupon code EARLYSALE in your shopping cart at http://www.goatgroup.com/ . Just add the tickets to your cart and enter the code where it says "Enter Promotional Code" and you will receive a $5 discount on the regular adult ticket price.
 
The discount is good on all regular adult tickets, including the Saturday, October 31st Halloween Fundraiser.  Regular tickets for that event, normally $30, include that evening's performance of Jekyll and Hyde as well as the post-show party, food, silent auction, raffles, and cabaret. With EARLYSALE, tickets for the Halloween Ball are only $25.
 
Remember, this special coupon expires when the show opens! Get your tickets now!
 

 

JEKYLL AND HYDE: THE MUSICAL
By Steve Cuden and Frank Wildhorn
 
Directed by Paul Castaneda
 
Musical Direction by Don Hopkinson
 
October 30 - November 27, 2009
Fridays/Saturdays 8 pm -  Sundays 7 pm
Monday, November 9th Industry Night Show 8 pm
 
 
Greater Orlando Actors Theatre - GOAT
669 Cherry Street, Winter Park, FL 32789
Off Fairbanks between I-4 and 17/92
Call 407.872.8451
 
For show overview and more information:
 
http://www.goatgroup.com/  

 

 

 

THEATER - THE SEAFARER
Theatre Downtown production of the tingling drama by Conor McPherson.  Everyone in this dark and enthralling Christmas fable of despair and redemption descends at some point to oceanic depths of drunkenness, including a sinister fellow who is not of this world.

 

 

October 16 - November 7
Thursday, Friday, & Saturday at 8:00 PM
Select Sundays at 2 PM
 
Theatre Downtown
2113 N. Orange Ave
Orlando, FL   32804
 
Tickets: $18.00/$15.00 for Seniors & Students
 
The 1st Thursday of the production all tickets are only $10.00
 
Reservations: 407-841-0083
 

 

 

TRAVEL - JOIN WANZIE/WORLD'S LARGEST CRUISE SHIP
The departure date for the seven-night Eastern-Carribean Itinerary cruise sailing from the port of Ft. Lauderdale is April 24, 2010. Cruise with Wanzie and other WANZeGRAM subscribers aboard what is soon to be the largest cruise ship in the world - Royal Caribbean's OASIS OF THE SEAS. The time to book is right now. Only a $250 deposit is required at this time.
For complete information and lots of great pictures of the ship, visit the CRUISE WITH WANZIE page on the Wanzie.com website:    http://www.wanzie.com/cruise.html

 

 

A List of Coming and Ongoing Attractions, which are not featured elsewhere in your current WANZeGRAM

 

Nov. 13   FESTIVAL OF TREES - Orlando Museum of Art

Nov. 28  Wanzie's STAR STUDED A CHRISTMAS CAROL - Footlight Theatre


ONGOING

 

Seems that longtime live-in lovers who raised a teenage son together during their 21 and half year-long engagement - John (Watermark/OYA) Sullivan and partner Greg McGuigan -- intend to legally tie the knot in their home state of Massachusetts.

 

"We were going to do the sneak off and elope kind of thing, but after much thought, and the fact that you have to wait three days to get your license, we have decided to make a vacation out of it," Reports Sullivan. "So, since Boston celebrates their GLBT PRIDE with a huge parade on Sunday, June 13th, we are thinking about getting married the day before." The couple plans to honeymoon on a houseboat in Boston Harbor.

 

James Wolf and Lisa No-Last-Name are off to Key West for the annual Halloween street orgy...I mean party, that is Fantasy Fest. I have it on good authority that James got his costume from Miss Sammy's closet, and it is rumored James and Lisa are meeting up with Sean Harrington and David Goodermote for the Key West festivities.  (This ought to be interesting.)

 

David Lee and I and a bunch of WANZeGRAM subscribers will be attending the final matinee performance of Yankee Tavern on Sunday, November 8,should anyone care to join us. There's no official group discount or anything, just a suggested attendance day very likely followed by a group cocktail outing at Savoy. The show was first presented as a reading during Playfest, and was so well received it's now won itself a fully staged production. See the listing in THE WORLD IN BRIEF section above for complete details, and do join us, if you can.

 

Matthew Arter reports he cried when he first witnessed the all -new TIANA'S SHOWBOAT JUBILEE now playing daily through January 3 at the Magic Kingdom. (But then again, I've seen Matthew cry over a poorly mixed cocktail, so I don't know how reliable his tears are in the scheme of things.)  But my pal Matthew is far from easy-to-please, and certainly not one of those Disney cast members who likes any ole thing Disney dishes up. So I, for one, intend to take his leaky ducts as an indication the show is really good, and get out there to see it for myself.

 

Tonight (Friday) at the Funky Monkey Pointe Orlando is going to be something very special. Even though I'm not allowed to tell you what it is (because I don't actually know), I CAN tell you they are having two shows: one at 8:30 PM, and one at 10 PM on this fine Friday, October 30th evening.  Owner Eddie Nichols says the Las Vegas style Show, "is going to blow you away." Prizes for best costumes and much more are promised, with no cover and a full menu available. For more info and reservations, you can call 407.418.9463.

 

As you read this, I am in my 6th day of a 14-day detox cleanse. So if you see me out, please support me on this, and do not offer me an alcoholic beverage, or insist that I join you in your drinking. I've made it this far without a drop while taking toxin-releasing supplements and eating tons of raw veggies and fruits and taking supplements. I'm attempting to get a jump-start on some healthier eating habits, while at the same time giving my poor liver a much needed break. (Eddie Monroe, don't be mad at me. It is your emails that inspired me to do this, but I could not afford the particular product you recommended.)  I intend to loose weight again, and hopefully increase my vitality. And once I am further underway, I am going to be starting up a new Ballroom Dance Class here in Orlando. Ballroom dance class is great low impact/little sweat exercise, and fun to boot. I'll let you all know when and where as soon as I feel up to starting it.

 

In the meantime, I'm buying one those $100 raffle tickets they are selling at the Orlando Shakes. I have decided I shall win that Smart Car on December 27th, and that's that. If I don't win it, I may kill myself on December 28th.

 

That is, unless of course, I have a husband by that time. Interested parties are invited to ask me out anytime prior to my spending yet another Christmas as a confirmed bachelor.

 

Finally, I can't wait for you all to see what my cohorts and I are cooking up for you to come see at the Footlight Theatre during the Christmas season. Let's just say - imagine Liza Minnelli playing the role of Tiny Tim, and you'll have a fairly accurate indication of where I'm headed.

 

Until then,

 

I'm WANZIE and That's All I Wrote!



 

 email me